'He lost a client here and made himself look like an idiot': Realtor shows friend 8 houses, accuses her of wasting his time when she wants to see more

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 13, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Buying a home, if you're lucky enough to get to do it, is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever have to make. It's expensive for one (most probably the biggest purchase you'll ever make). It's where you'll lay your head every night, so you better like spending time there. And it comes with a pretty large amount of risk. If it ends up being a lemon, it might take years to financially recover. All to say, it's understandable that you would want to really consider your choices when you're looking for a home. 

It's not quite as simple as it is on House Hunters, where they're shown three houses and one of them is the magic sweet spot of everything they're looking for. No, you might not always fall in love with the first couple of places you see. It might take a while, especially if you're not pressed for time. 

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    FOR SALE
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Hopefully, then, you have a realtor you trust. Ideally, they understand you and what you're looking for. They are easy to communicate with, and you know they have your back. Because you're in it together. You're on the same team ultimately, even if there are a few bumps on the way. But in this situation, mixing business with friendship led to some uncomfortable conversations. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

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    AITA for not buying a house from my realtor friend and wasting his time?

    AITA for not buying a house from my realtor friend and (his words) wasting his time? Background: pre-approved up to $800k to purchase a home, and my guy friend is a realtor. Of course, I asked for his help in finding a home to buy. I was upfront about what I wanted, didn't ask to see a
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    home unless I had thoroughly researched ahead of time and felt like it could be a realistic option. This isn't my first purchase, but first "on my own" since my divorce and I wanted to be mindful of potential repairs needed, and it's a huge purchase in general. The last 3 homes I bought were bad
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    purchases - took awhile to sell or ended up paying a lot to get out of them because we hadn't owned long enough. I was open about this. Over the course of almost 3 months, we looked at 8 homes. One of the homes I really liked, and would have put an offer in but the sellers were way off on price (even in my friend's words). The
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    8th (and first house we had looked at in about a month), checked most of the boxes and looked gorgeous in the photos, but in person was a quick and shoddy quality flip. I told him I was going to pass and put my search on hold until spring, hoping for more options and I would have additional money to put down, giving me more flexibility with bidding and price range.
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    I was very surprised when he called me the next day and was frustrated/mad at me and accused me of disrespecting him and wasting his time. I told him that wasn't my intention and apologized. A week later, he reiterated what he felt and said that this now affected our
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    friendship and that he would no longer work with me as a client, and blocked me on everything. It has been weeks, and I am still confused and hurt. Is he missing something here, am I missing. something or AITA?
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    FO SA
    via Unsplash + (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters weighed in on whether or not they though the realtor was justified.

    Miss_Judge_and_... . 13h ago NTA. Your friend is the AH. That is literally part of being a realtor. What would be crappy is if you 1) ended up going with a different realtor last minute 2) never actually had the money to buy a home.
    via u/Miss_Judge_and_Jury
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    Neither of those are true and even if you weren't friends with him, pressuring someone to buy a house they don't want is so bad. I had a realtor that would read my face and if she knew I didn't like a home in person she'd say "this one isn't it".
    via u/Miss_Judge_and_Jury
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    To take that a step further and block you is childish. He lost a client here and made himself look like an idiot. So unprofessional on many levels!!!!!
    via u/Miss_Judge_and_Jury
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    Yrxora 12h ago . The f ? We literally looked for two YEARS to buy our home, and looked at HUNDREDS of houses. We had offers fall through on three separate occasions before we finally closed on ours. Never once in those two
    via u/Yrxora
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    years did our realtor accuse us of wasting his time, and we were looking in the like 100- 120k range. He made pennies for commission from us, especially if you take into account the amount of time he spent looking at houses with us. Your friends ks, and I'd take the win of losing him as a friend, because he's a TERRIBLE friend.
    via u/Yrxora
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    tinyd71 13h ago A good realtor wouldn't expect a client to purchase the wrong home, or purchase one that doesn't suit them or meet their criteria. As a friend, you supported this person by using them to find a home (and giving them the income from your purchase). Not finding the right home,
    via u/tinyd71
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    continuing to search, or putting the search on hold is part of this process for many people. Your friend isn't being a good friend, or a good realtor in this situation. NTA
    via u/tinyd71
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    • CandylandCanada 13h ago NTA He either doesn't understand the nature of his own business, or he's frustrated with his sales so he's taking it out on you. You did nothing wrong.
    via u/CandylandCanada
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    Bfan72 • 12h ago . NTA. I'm a realtor and I would never treat anyone that way. If you used a different realtor for the actual transaction, then 100% you would have been. Did you have a contract with him?
    via u/Bfan72
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    Realistic_Cup_6169 OP 12h ago • Yes, I did. He sent me a cancellation/mutual release a couple of weeks ago though. So...l guess I need a new realtor? This just feels so weird. I hate that it ended up this way. I haven't resumed my search, still renting but starting to see an uptick of inventory.
    via u/Realistic_Cup_6169
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    StAlvis 13h ago NTA Realtors are hugely overcompensated. The career is built around expecting lots of misses, and only getting a few big wins.
    via u/StAlvis
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    Ruth Bourbon 12h ago • NTA. Buying a house is probably the biggest purchase you'll ever make, you shouldn't feel pressured to buy something just because your real estate agent is your friend. If they can't respect that, they're not a very good friend. It's a business arrangement, they're working for YOU (which is why you shouldn't hire a friend to do it).
    via u/RuthBourbon
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    And best of luck to you, the market s ks. I finally bought a house last fall after looking off and on for a YEAR, I must have looked at 40-50 houses, not joking. I put bids on three that didn't work out until I found one that was pretty close to what I wanted and there was still a bidding war. Househunting is AWFUL
    via u/RuthBourbon
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    III-Running1986 • 13h ago NTA. If he's supposedly a professional, he gets clients that don't yield a sale. That's just how it goes. Enjoy the sight of him in the rearview mirror.
    via u/III-Running1986
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    Katiew84 12h ago NTA. This is an almost million dollar purchase. 8 showings is NOTHING. If you viewed 50 homes and didn't find the right one, that would still be reasonable. Your friend isn't a quality realtor or friend. You dodged a bullet. This is a blessing in disguise. Don't feel guilty or doubt yourself - you did nothing wrong. Find a new realtor and a new friend.
    via u/Katiew84
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    hesherlobster27 • 12h ago Your "friend" is immature and unprofessional. Realtors sometimes show houses to the same buyer for months and months or over a year or more until the right house is found. This guy just wanted a quick and easy paycheck from you. You are better off using someone else anyway!
    via u/hesherlobster27
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    Silent-Friendship8... • 12h ago Sounds like dude is having money problems and wants to make anyone but him the cause of his problems. As a real estate agent he should know how the game is played. Sometimes you have to show a lot of homes to make a sale and, what he failed to do, screen houses before showing them to a client.
    via u/Silent-Friendship860

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homeowner costs friendship aita AITAH house homeowner money problems homeownership house hunting friends new homeowners best friend realtor reddit story reddit thread Reddit realty money
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